Reverse Power rankings.

If you aren’t able to handle criticism, or you cry easily. Please don’t read this article. (I’m looking at you Villian) everything herein is tongue in cheek. If you don’t have the IQ to handle that, I’m sorry for your parents.

16. Falcons

This team is destined to suck! First off team owner can’t even spell kobe properly. Second, he’s bound to find some way to bend the rules and get suspended 30 seconds into his first game. They drafted a bunch of mut guys, and there’s no way to pay to make your team better Herr.

15. Ravens

Speaking of, these fuckers wouldn’t let me pay for the Ravens, so I had a voodoo shaman put a curse on them. Word around the league is Ruggz has no thumbs. I’ve also read somewhere that the users suck, seems valid.

14. the Cleveland Villians

The GM is to busy crying about power rankings and how it takes to much time to make sure the offensive line isn’t fucked up. Not like your playing for money boss man. They do have Dime who is a beastly wr user. I’ve seen man snag balls out of triple coverage like he was taking candy out his gms hands. Also, Hero is the greatest. So of course there’s that.

13. Packers

Wish I wasn’t lazy, would rewrite this to put them in last. Reason: Blunkey. Not writing anymore.

12. Saints

First off Wace is the goat, but I always read that his team fucked him. So it’s bound to happen. Make no mistake though, whatever happens, it wasn’t his fault. Beachmode will probably get blamed because he’s to nice to say otherwise.

11. Seahawks

To begin, Lurker is gonna be to busy planning date nights with me to worry about madden, so already off to a rough start. Dj will probably get in some calvin ridley style gambling suspension so now your down 2 users. Guess the rest of you boys better try and fix this sinking ship.

10. 49ers

Top 10 49ers. Great team for a balanced team and have some balanced OCs. Don’t know or dislike any of their users enough to have any fun with this, but braves hates me so bottom of the top 10 it is. (Send me some flowers and you’ll move way up the board here)

9. Bucs

Listen, we suck. I wanted to put us at number 1 just to piss everyone off, but even I couldn’t lie that much. So low tier top 10 it is. Woohdy is a bully, our dcs are awful, our qbs both play blindfolded. Not much else to say. Team of shitters.

8. Jags

I heard hucci bullied abyss into playing with the jags over the lions. Makes sense, hucci is a known gigantic asshole. Always fighting with everyone. Nate, ponchy, dfeet, sac. God just take only vfl ppl for your team. Seems leagueist to me. But they are good enough to not be shit. Good job abyss.

7. Chiefs

Everyone knows pre season is nothing to bother paying attention to. This team is goated. Mahomes alone will win them this league. Only thing dropping them to 7 is not having a single legitimate qb user on their team. Typically a bad idea when you draft a team based on the qb.

6. Dolphins

They have Kuhrow on their practice squad. If he gets 1 game of play time, they are winning it all. Grof and Marx will make Magic happen with this team. Maje will be rookie of the year at dc. But can they get any balls downfield with tuas noodle arm? Remains to be seen.

5. Cowboys

I got FIVE ooonnnn it! North is going to go crazy with pollard. Jukebox is insane this year as we all know. Team has abilities everywhere. Also, they have porkside on the team. Bbq is huge in Texas (almost as good as here in KC) so you know they goin crazy with the Cowboys.

4. Chargers

Another VFL team. Yay, so much fun. Child and rivals gonna retire like 10 minutes after this article comes out. Beaste is DEFINITELY getting banned for his brother selling fake pokemon cards or some shit. And brady is going to forget what a corner route is and die. But they will still somehow get to the playoffs and lose to the superbowl team because rivals decided to unretire, but then forgot he had an apex tournament during the win ir go home game.

3. Bills

Von is going to show that 2k skills are all that’s needed in madden. I don’t know the rest of these guys so they are clearly all ringers he brought in to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And they all forgot how to kick.

2. Bengals

Orbi never stops talking so Joka won’t be able to call plays in the huddle so that line is gonna get fucked up in the superbowl. But they are good enough to get there through sheer force of will and xbox mute buttons.

1. Eagles

The commish is on this team. Listen Mr goodell-thompson. I put you at number 1 just like you told me. I get my weekly paycheck now, right?

Despite these rankings. The chiefs are going to win the superbowl due to ref interference and to sell 3VL merchandise. Sorry to spoil it.