The eboK Report will be a weekly thing for at least this szn of the VFL. I’ll be posting the MVP standings every week along with Shitters of the week & power rankings. I’m Hoping after reading the weekly eboK Report everyone goes in chat & calls me a braindead shitter every week & calls me bad names.
Media = Engagement.
Week 1 MVP Standings
1. IR x Brady
2. Th3 R3al3st 260
3. SheLoveNeal
4. SixthMallard
5. DaAccountant
1. IR x Brady
In week 1 Brady went 3-0 with wins over Hucci, Koolaidz & Beachmode.
Week 1 stats
Points For- 92, OFF Yards 862, Wins 3, Losses 0, Comp 39, Atts 55, Comp% 70.9, Pass yards 753, PASS TDs 8, PASS INTs 1, TFLs 1, D ints 1, FF 1.
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2. Th3 R3al3st 260
In week 1 Realest went 3-0 with wins over Champ, Grof & ThaKiidKing.
Week 1 stats
Points For-78, OFF Yards 640, Wins 3, Losses 0, Comp 20, Atts 29, Comp% 69, Pass yards 357, PASS TDs 4, PASS INTs 2, Rushes 13, yards 70, TFLs 2, D ints 3, PDEFs 2.
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3. SheLoveNeal
In week 1 the Philly Jawn went 3-0 with wins over warpath, braves & the eagles.
Week 1 stats
points for-76, OFF Yards 976, Wins 3, Losses 0, Comp 43, Atts 52, Comp% 82, Pass yards 834, PASS TDs 7, PASS INTs 4, TFLs 4, D ints 1.
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4. SixthMallard
In week 1 SixthMallard went 3-0 with wins over Champ, Grof & ThaKiidKing.
Week 1 stats
Wins 3, Losses 0, Rushes 1, Yards 1, Recs 15, Yards 300, Tds 4, RAC 106, TFLs 14, Sacks 7, D ints 2, FF 1, DTDs 2, DEf Yards 0, Points Allowed 46, TOs 5.
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5. DaAccountant
In week 1 DaAccountant went 3-0 with wins over the eagles, grof & koolaidz.
Week 1 stats
Wins 3, Losses 0, Rushes 34, yards, 121, RUSH TDs 4, RECs 6, yards 65, RAC 21, TFLs 10, Sacks 7, DTDs 1, DEF Yards 451, Points Allowed 14, TOs 6.
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Week 1 Shitters of The Week
- Hucci line
- Farah Line
- Eagles
- Hucci, NateCashMoney, T1 Anime
In Week 1 the Hucci line went 0-3 with losses to Brady, ThaKiddKing & Childplease. This line couldve easily went 3-0 if some things went their way but at the end of the day if you think you lost cuz of 1 play then you didnt play good enough to win. Maybe going 0-3 week 1 is the new strat at winning the ring like it was for me going 1-2 last madden. Hucci might be onto somethin fr.
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- Champ, Farah, Areis
In Week 1 the Champ line went 0-3 with losses to Realest, Hex & a FF. I know this line was very hyped to have the speed of the dolphins but at the end of the day if you dont know how to use Tua then the speed of the dolphins is irrelevant & wasted. Maybe next week they’ll start run committing or calling something other than cover 3 vs the “ai tampering” plays. I’m sure this line will turn it around but week 1 was definitely hard to watch if you’re a Farah En Fuego enjoyer like myself. **as i’m editing this Champ has been blacklisted by Beachmode so i doubt Farah & Areis end up staying in Miami for much longer.**
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- Eagles
The FOEx clan couldnt even last 1 week in the league without quitting. Maybe another clan name change & they’ll be ready to go next time.
eboKs Week 1 Power Rankings
- Chiefs
- Ravens
- Chargers
- Cowboys
- Bills
- Bengals
- Jags
- 49ers
- Dolphins
- Eagles
1. Chiefs (6-0)
The Chiefs went 6-0 this week thanks to the QB play of the Philly Jawn & the highschooler. Sadly even after a 6-0 week this shitter team had locker room problems & will be making roster changes for week 2. Can the Philly Jawn get things under control & right the ship?
Line 1 (3-0)- SheLoveNeal, eboKtsoP, Tmo. WINS over warpath, braves & the eagles
SheLoveNeal– Points For 76, OFF Yards 976, Comp 43, Atts 52, Comp% 82, Pass yards 834, PASS TDs 7, PASS INTs 4, TFLs 4, D ints 1.
eboKtsoP– Rushes 17, Yards 142, Rush TDs 2, RECs 4, Yards 53, RAC 24, TFLs 10, Sacks 1, Yards Allowed 429, Points Allowed 34, TOs 5.
Tmo– RECs 39, Yards 781, TDs 7, RAC 210, TFLs 9, Sacks 3, D INT 4, PDEFs 7.
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Line 2 (3-0)- You Glaze Me, Trey Demonz. WINS over Fig & Champ.
You Glaze Me– Points For 45, OFF Yards 604, Comp 14, Atts 20, Pass Yards 241, TD 1, INT 1, Rush 3, Yards 18, TDs 1, TFLs 3, D INT 1.
Trey Demonz– RECs 14, Yards 241, TDs 1, RAC 88, TFLs 2, Sacks 2.
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2. Ravens (5-1)
King High was able to lead his team to a 5-1 start & have 2 players in the top 5 discussion of the MVP race as of right now. Will Y 3 3 Z U $ leave his lines how it is or will he move woody back to realest? Only time will tell.
Line 1 (3-0)- Realest, SixthMallard, Telos. WINS over Champ, Grof, THaKiidKing.
Th3 R3al3st 260– points for 78, OFF Yards 640, Comp 20, Atts 29, Comp% 69, Pass yards 357, PASS TDs 4, PASS INTs 2, Rushes 13, yards 70, TFLs 2, D ints 3, PDEFs 2.
SixthMallard– Rushes 1, Yards 1, Recs 15, Yards 300, TDs 4, RAC 106, TFLs 14, Sacks 7, D ints 2, FF 1, DTDs 2, DEF Yards 0, Points Allowed 46, TOs 5.
Telos– Rushes 28, Yards 213, TDs 3, RECs 5, Yards 57, RAC 27.
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LIne 2 (2-1)- Warparth, Mr. Media Man, Woody. WINS over Fig & Eagles. Lost to Neal.
Warpath– Points For 57, OFF Yards 547, Comp 24, Atts 36, Comp % 66.7, Pass Yards 342, TDs 4, Ints 3, Rushes 4, TFLs 1, D int 1.
Woohdy– Rushes 32, Yards 181, TDs 1, FUM 1, RECs 7, Yards 54, TDs 1, RAC 19, D int 1, DTDs 1.
High Walker– Rushes 1, Yards 3, RECs 17, Yards 285, TDs 3, RAC 106, TFLs 9, Sacks 5, Points Allowed 53, TOs 2.
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3. Chargers (4-2)
The Brady led Charger ended up with a solid 4-2 record this week. Figs line will turn it around but maybe Brady can find a way to trade for NateCashMoney to help Fig press the A button?
Line 1 (3-0)- Brady, North, Dfeet. Wins over Hucci, Koolaidz & Beachmode.
Brady– Points For- 92, OFF Yards 862, Comp 39, Atts 55, Comp% 70.9, Pass yards 753, PASS TDs 8, PASS INTs 1, TFLs 1, D ints 1, FF 1.
North– Rushes 20, Yards 109, TDs 3, RECs 4, Yards 43, TFLs 12, Sacks 6.5, D int 1, PDEF 1.
Dfeet– RECs 35, Yards 710, TDs 7, TFLs 8, Sacks 4.5, D int 3, PDEFs 2, DTDs 1.
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Line 2 (1-2)- Fig, Smitty, Bwall. WON vs Eagles, Losses to Warpath & Hex.
Fig– Comp 11, Att 13, Comp % 84.6, Yards 255, TDs 1, TFLs 3, PDEFs 1.
Smitty– Rushes 22, Yards 144, TDs 3, RECs 4, Yards 101, TDs 1, TFLs 10, Sacks 3.
Bwall– RECs 7, Yards 154, TFLs 2, D ints 1, PDEFs 1.
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4. Cowboys (5-1)
DaAccountant led Cowboys ended week 1 with an impressive 5-1 record. Wace had some big wins this week & Accountant put Lucky on his back. Will Lucky hit the over on his 2.5 spread for trades this szn?
Line 1 (3-0)- Lucky, Acc, Jacc. WINS over Eagles, Grof & Koolaidz.
FOEx Lucky- points for 68, OFF Yards 537, Comp 33, Atts 51, Comp% 64.7, Pass yards 427, PASS TDs 4, PASS INTs 3, Rush 4, Yards 6, TFLs 3, D INT 2, PDEF 3.
DaAccountant- Rushes 34, yards, 121, RUSH TDs 4, RECs 6, yards 65, RAC 21, TFLs 10, Sacks 7, DTDs 1, DEF Yards 451, Points Allowed 14, TOs 6.
713Jacc- RECs 27, Yards 362, TDs 4, RAC 108, TFLs 2, D int 4.
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Line 2 (2-1)- Wace, Death, Yogi. WINS over Childplease & Hucci. Lost to Realest.
ThaKiidKing- Points for 43, OFF Yards 684, Comp 43, Atts 58, Comp% 74.1, Pass Yards 597, TDs 3, INTs 4, Rush atts 3, Yards 26, TFLs 4, Sacks 1, D ints 3, PDEF 2.
Death- Rushes 21, Yards 87, TDs 2, RECs 2, Yards 22, RAC 18, Sacks 1, Points Allowed 14.
YogiB- RECs 27, Yards 378, TDs 2, RAC 198, TFLs 4, Sacks 1, FF 1, Points allowed 7.
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5. Bills (2-4)
The Bills had a disappointing week going 2-4 with Hucci, Nate & T1 winning the Breesuss award for week 1(Shitters of the week). Even though Hucci went 0-3 this week he did have 2 flukey Ls which was very unfortunate to say the least. Abyss was very close to going 3-0 but was put in a box by the brisket. Can Hucci & Abyss right the ship before next week?
Line 1 (0-3)- Hucci & Nate. Losses to Brady, Wace & Childplease.
Hucci- Comp 12, Atts 19, Comp % 63.2, Pass Yards 211, TDs 1, Ints 3, Rushes 4, Yards 57, TDs 1, TFLs 2.
Nate– Rushes 16, Yards 157, TDs 1, RECs 5, Yards 83, RAC 55, TFLs 7, Sacks 1.
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LIne 2 (2-1)- Abyss, RPO Painkiller, Rusty. Wins over BEachmode & Eagles. Lost to Ponchy.
Abyss- Points For 57, OFF Yards, 645, Comp 36, Atts 57, Co mp% 63.2, Pass yards 560, PASS TDs 5, PASS INTs 1, Rushes 4, yards 29, RUSH TD 1, TFLs 4.
RPO Painkiller- Recs 23, Yards 450, TDs 4, RAC 129, TFLs 19, Sacks 13, SFTY 1, DEF Yards 374, Points Allowed 23, TOs 3.
Rusty- Rushes 20, Yards 65, TDs 1, RECs 13, Yards 110, TDs 1, RAC 86, TFLs 1, D ints 3, PDEF 2.
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6. Bengals (4-2)
Week 1s surprise team is the Bengals. Both Child & Hog finished the week with a 2-1 record. Beaste got an MVP type of workload this week but didnt have MVP type stats. Maybe Beaste will find his way in the top 5 for MVP soon?
Line 1 (2-1)- Child, Beaste, Pullout. Wins over Hucci, 49ers. Lost to ThaKiidKing
Child– Off Yards 526, Comp 20, Att 31, Comp% 64.5, Pass Yards 284, TDs 2.
Beaste– Rushes 54, 242 yards, 2 TDs, Rec 4, Yards 28, TFLs 7, Def Ints 4.
Pullout– RECs 15, Yards 279, TFLs 7, Sacks 3.
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Line 2 (2-1) Hog, Isaac, Joker. Wins over Beachmode & Eagles. Lost to Ponchy.
Hog- Comps 27, Atts 40, Comp% 67.5, Pass Yards 430, TDs 4, Ints 4, 7 TFLs, 3 D ints, PDEFs 2.
Joker- Rushes 34, Yards 263, TDs 2, RECs 8, Yards 66, RAC 20, TFLs 5, D int 1, PDEF 1, DTDs 1.
Isaac- RECs 19, Yards 364, TDs 4, RAC 65, Points Allowed 35
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7. Jags (3-3)
2-4, 3-3 is exactly the type of week i though a roster like this would have. Maybe Grof can rally the troops & get the jags in the top 5 next week.
Line 1 (2-1)- Ponchy, BLK, Brisket. Wins over Hog & Abyss. FFd vs KC.
Ponchy- Comp 20, Att 25, Comp% 80, Pass Yards 304, TDs 2, Ints 1, Rushes 3, Yards 8, TFLs 4, Sacks 3.
BLK- Rushes 13, Yards 121, TDs 2, RECs 3, Yards 28, RAC 23, TFLs 2, Sacks 1,
Brisket- RECs 17, Yards 276, TDs 2, RAC 100, TFLs 4, D ints 3, PDEF 3, DTDs 2.
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Line 2 (1-2)- Grof, Rigs, Minotaur. Win over Buckeye. Losses to Lucky & Realest.
Grof- Comp 15, Atts 27, Comp% 55.6, Yards 229, Ints 2, Rushes, 7, Yards 42, TDs 1, TFLs 4.
Rigs- Rushes 35, Yards 255, TDs 3, REC 5, Yards 65, RAC 123, TFLs 2, Sacks 1, D ints, 2, PDEF 2, DTDs 1.
Minotaur- RECs 10, Yards 153, RAC 40, TFLs 10, Sacks 5.
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8. 49ers (1-5)
Can Koolaidz hard carry this team this szn or will he end up getting traded? Why is Kuhrow so bad at madden?!?
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9. Dolphins (0-6)
As of today Champ was blacklisted by Beachmode for gettin busy. Will Beach be able to reconstruct this roster & get some wins under their belts or will he end up trading the DCoty Farah & Areis & folding in the szn?
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10. Eagles (0-6)
Braves took over ownership at the end up of this week & is looking to retool his team to make a Super Bowl push. He hopes players like T1 anime & DJ Ragequit will be the key to his success. Will Braves pick up the AP line to fill his roster needs?
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Congrats on reading through the week 1 of The eboK Report. If you made it this far can you answer in gen chat why is Kuhrow so dogwater at everything?